So you haven’t got any football to watch: the greatest assists in football history

This week your super soaraway Totally Football Show looked back on the 2011/12 season, and what a belter that was. That of course was the season when Manchester City hoofed United 6-1, which featured that David Silva pass for Edin Dzeko. Which obviously got us to thinking about some assists…so here are a few of our very favourites…
David Silva: Manchester City v Manchester United, Premier League 2011
David Silva has made so many brilliant assists that some lucky punter at Manchester City was asked to put them all together in a compilation. This one might not be the most important, and it might lose something because it was for the sixth goal in a game already well won…but bloody hell, would you look at it.
Redondo: Real Madrid v Manchester United, 2000
? THAT Fernando Redondo assist #OTD in 2000…#UCL | @realmadriden pic.twitter.com/fO2VNHLH6b
— UEFA Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) April 19, 2020
The night Henning Berg very sadly passed away.
Diego Maradona: Argentina v Switzerland, international friendly 2005
Inevitably there would have to be one rabona in here, and inevitably it’s from Diego.
Leo Messi: Barcelona v Levante, La Liga 2020
? A quickfire double from Ansu Fati!
?? The 17-year-old has Barca 2-0 up and in complete control
? What a pass from Messi to set the first goal up too! pic.twitter.com/jrbf7dbUmX
— Premier Sports ? (@PremierSportsTV) February 2, 2020
Take your pick from Messi’s extensive oeuvre: you can’t go wrong with most of these, and it’s pretty difficult to pick one, so we’ve gone with one of the more recent efforts.
Kaka: Milan v Liverpool, 2005 Champions League final
The best thing about this assist from Kaka is that it’s so satisfying. Perhaps it’s just the quality of the pass, perhaps it’s the turn before the pass that sent Steven Gerrard for a sandwich, perhaps it’s that he had the vision, skill and mental acuity to spot the pass was on, weigh up how to play it and then actually play it in a fraction of a second, perhaps it’s that Jamie Carragher lunged for it and only just missed it. Whatever the reason, it’s a sensational piece of football that we’d happily watch dozens of times over.
Eric Cantona: Manchester United v Tottenham, 1993
We’re choosing to believe that absolutely every word of what the fictional Eric Cantona said in this clip is true.
David Beckham: Real Madrid v Real Zaragoza, Copa del Rey 2006
This isn’t a pass, it’s a joke at the expense of physics. The sort of cross that if he’d told the defence before the game he what he was going to do, they still wouldn’t have been able to stop it. Incidentally, if you’re wondering why Ronaldo was so keen to retrieve the ball despite Madrid being 3-0 up after ten minutes, it’s because they lost the first leg of this Copa del Rey semi-final 6-1. Zaragoza held on to go through, 6-5 on aggregate.
Garrincha: Brazil v Spain, 1962 World Cup
This is a relatively routine run and clipped cross really, but the reason we like it is a) the burst of pace that sees Garrincha entirely rinse the full-back and b) that he just took the ball off Amarildo earlier in the move, as if to say “give me the ball son and go wait in the box, I’ll have it back to you in a minute.”
Luis Suarez: Liverpool v Manchester United, 2011
It’s a shame that the first thing you think about with Luis Suarez isn’t football but…well…the other stuff…because boy he could/can play.
Guti: Real Madrid v Deportivo La Coruna, La Liga 2010
Ridiculous. And for more, our friend and yours wrote about this goal for the Athletic earlier this year.
Guti: Real Madrid v Sevilla, La Liga 2005
Saucy little minx, wasn’t he?
Dennis Bergkamp: Arsenal v Juventus, Champions League 2001
Take your pick from Bergkamp’s oeuvre, but this is pretty special.
Cesc Fabregas: Chelsea v Burnley, Premier League, 2014
Delicate.
Alireza Beiranvand: Naft Tehran v Tractor Sazi, Persian League 2019
Route one, but make it stylish.
Xabi Alonso: Liverpool v Sunderland, Premier League 2005
Does he really mean that first one to Luis Garcia? Does it matter?
Dimitar Berbatov: Manchester United v West Ham, 2008
An assist so good that even Cristiano Ronaldo had to give the credit to someone else. Maybe.
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